A Woman’s Place and what comes next

Way back in August, I had an exhibition called A Woman’s Place. It included around 40 paintings and mixed-media pieces of mine – probably the largest show I’ve ever done. There were several different themes running through the artwork, all having to do with woman and where we belong. At the very personal end, I depicted my dying husband and myself as a widow. When he was alive, my place was with him, but now?

I also included many of my images of groups of women, inspired by the women’s marches around the world which took place earlier this year, and also by the friends who have gathered to support me through this difficult year. Some of these morphed into playful depictions of nonexistent rituals – rituals I invented to mark the transition from wife to widow.

The show was rounded out with many cityscapes of Edinburgh, a city I have definitely come to think of as my place. Scott’s death put a question mark over my ability to stay here long-term, but I am doing everything I can to be here.

I was pleased with the exhibition. It was a lot to put together in the months after Scott’s death, but in a way it was good for me to have a project, something specific to focus on, a direction. Since then, my creative practice has kind of lost its direction. It’s milling around in the forest, being distracted by interesting things here and there, but unable to commit to a path. I’m trying to make sure I focus on showing up every day, ready to make whatever art wants to be made. I’m starting to feel tugs in certain directions. We’ll just have to see what way they lead.